Fantasy dreams

Lucid Dreaming is a very interesting subject, and is definitely worth taking a look at. As we continue to grow in our knowledge of what happens while we are sleeping, and how we can use our brains to help us achieve success, it is also becoming apparent that we can find pleasure and entertainment in our sleep, and can become a part of it all. Lucid is described as "conscious awareness" during sleep. What this means is, we know we are dreaming, and we want to get inside the dream and have some fun. After all, while in the dream state, all things are possible! We can fly, swim underwater for a long time, see all things, and now, with practice, we can participate in these dreams.

Many people have heard for years that we only use about 10% of our brain capacity. This is why so many people now want to find out how to use more of that capacity, not just for work, but also for play.

Lucid Dreaming - a Gift for Certain People?

It was once thought that lucid dreaming was a gift given only to certain people, much like true Psychics have; but this is not the case. Anyone can learn lucid dreaming; it just takes practice and time. According to Charles McPhee, you must spend the time to identify when your sleep cycles are, and when your dream cycles come. Then, as you become more aware of your sleep cycles, you can prepare mentally for those times. "When you awaken early in the morning, before you roll over and close your eyes for another cycle, be confident that your dreams are on their way. In the early morning hours, you stand on the brink of thirty to forty-minute blocks of nonstop dreamscape action. The trick, of course, is to recognize the dreamscape." (103).

By definition, Lucid Dreaming means "conscious awareness during the dream state." But how can this be? Every book I've ever read on dreaming has described the dream state as being an entry into the unconscious, so how can you possibly be conscious during dreaming, and be able to enter your dreams. Keep reading.

Can you be Conscious while Accessing the Subconscious?

According to Charles McPhee in his book "Stop Sleeping Through your Dreams," the answer to the question on consciousness during sleep is a resounding NO! "Our ability for consciousness—our ability to achieve reflectivity in our minds—is specifically denied us during dream sleep. Single-mindedness is a quality that defines dream experience." If you had the ability to reflect in a dream, you would recognize instantly that you were dreaming, and wake-up, and this is why it becomes difficult to judge and evaluate our dream experience.

An important event occurs with our muscle system with the onset of dream sleep. The main motor neurons of the body are inhibited, which prevents us from "physically" acting out dreams - you wouldn't want to actually leap out of bed and start flying around the house; this would create chaos everywhere at night and you would wake up exhausted. Unfortunately, after the motor neurons are shut down, so is the ability for consciousness during dream sleep.

100 Minutes a Night for Lucid Dreaming

When we first awaken from dream sleep, we will have a good chance of recalling our dreams, whereas if awakened from any other stage, we will not even remember dreaming. We enter various stages of sleep during 90-minute cycles all through the night (you can test this by checking the clock before you go to sleep at night, and again when you awaken during the middle of the night.) This means that if you sleep for six hours a night, you will have four "dream cycles" which you can access for information or fun (most people dream an average of 100 minutes a night). In the book "Directed Dreaming," you discover how to ask the proper questions of your dreams in order to receive problem solving information and direction for your life; now you can go one step further and discover how to step into random dreams to find out what clues they are trying to give you.

Trick # 1 - The First Step

The first step to becoming lucid during dreaming is to start trying to recall the previous nights dreams. This takes practice, but it can be accomplished. You will soon find out that if you work backward from the dream, it is easier to piece it together. This is easiest to do, of course, right after you wake up. If a dream is not written down, or recalled quickly, it will be lost forever. When you achieve the ability for lucid dreaming, you will find out that these dreams are recalled easier and do not vanish as quickly; that's where the fun in lucid dreaming comes from! What good is it if you are able to jump into your dreams and "play," then not remember anything about the experience. Remembering your lucid dreams can give you a calming feeling and something to smile about during the day. Soon, you will become aware of what you want to find out in your dreams, and you can tell yourself that the next time you have the dream where you are flying, you will remember that you are dreaming and want to participate in that adventure.


Trick #2 - The Best Time to Become Lucid

One important thing to remember about your dream cycles is that during the night, the time spent dreaming grows progressively longer with each cycle. This means that the longest stretch of dreamtime occurs just before awakening. This is the time you should concentrate on trying to become lucid. You should have tracked your dream cycles (as explained above), and determined approximately when you will reach the 4th cycle, then, when you awaken after the 3rd cycle, you can consciously tell yourself that next time you see or hear something, you will be dreaming, and you would like to be aware of this dream and enter into it.

Trick #3 - Not Sleeping!

It has been found that if you do not get enough sleep, and haven't had time to dream, your body will compensate by dreaming more! It is almost as if it's essential for us to have dream experiences. Therefore, if you are having a hard time becoming lucid in your dreams, you might want to try staying up later for a few nights, and then you will have more dream cycles as you try to "catch-up." When you have these extra dream cycles in the catch-up phase, it's a great opportunity to practice your lucid dreaming, as your cycles will be long, intense, and deep. It is more difficult to wake yourself out of sleep when the body is very tired, making this an excellent opportunity for lucidity!

Trick #4 - Associations

After you have become accustomed to writing down your dreams, it's time to pick out a few common things in the dream that will remind you that you are dreaming. For example, if you commonly dream that you are driving various kinds of sports cars, the thing to tell yourself when you are awake is that the next time you are driving a fancy car you will be dreaming. That way, you create the association in your mind to trigger the unconscious to recognize that as a dream, and help you participate. If you commonly dream of flying, that's also a good clue that you are dreaming, and if you consciously make a note of it, the next time you find yourself flying, you will wonder what you were supposed to remember about flying. If luck is on your side, this association will trigger your thinking that if you're flying, you must be dreaming, and with that instant thought, you will be able to start your adventure into that dream.

The first few times you attempt to do this, the awareness that you are dreaming may wake you up! This is because your consciousness has been activated, and in order to keep dreaming you need to stay in the subconscious. It takes practice to make the acceptance that you are dreaming into a passing thought, and just go with the flow. If you think about it too much, you will wake up (and, of course, will need to try it all over again). Again, according to McPhee, "Whatever you choose as a clue to identify your dreams, the association will carry over to your dreams. As you keep a dream journal and familiarize yourself with the content of your dreams, you can experiment with clues. Before long, the next time you take off in flight or are pursued by some familiar tormentor, there is an exceptionally good chance that you will have the associated thought, "Oh! I must be dreaming." And with this awareness, you will have successfully identified the dreamscape.

What do You Want to Find Out

After you have successfully entered your dreams, the next step is to find out what you want to accomplish by being there. Do you want to make your lucid dream into a fantasy where you physically fight off attackers, or do you want to be the fastest runner in the world and successfully outrun anything that comes after you, or would you rather have fantasies of a sexual nature? This fantasy type of lucid dreaming is fine, but what purpose does it serve? It does not help us resolve anything in real life; but it can be a good stress-reliever. A better way to work with lucid dreaming is to try to get some insight into why the conflict is occurring. If you were to stop those people who are chasing you in your dreams and talk to them, what would they say? Could they reveal to you why you are running and open up the opportunity to explore unconscious fears in real life? Since the unconscious is probably trying to tell you something, it would be best to find out what it is, so you can act on it when you wake up, and resolve these difficult situations. The more you practice, the closer you will get to resolving your issues -- and then you can go back to fantasy dreaming (my guess is that that's probably what you want to do anyway), but since you are taking your time to practice becoming lucid, you might as well make it work to your advantage every now and then.

Technology Can Help

As technology advances, so does the opportunity to get help with your Lucidity. There are now high-tech devices that you can use to induce lucid dreams. Most of them can be found in New Age bookstores, or you can go to the library and find mail order catalogs that carry these devices. You can now find popular devices such as eyeshades that detect rapid eye movement and blink a red diode when you start to sleep. This red light is incorporated into the dream, and reminds the dreamer to clue in that he or she is dreaming. If you're having trouble getting into your dreams, these devices may be able to help you relax enough to have a little fun!

Flirting tips for men can come in handy when you finally met the girl of your dreams. Take a moment guys to think about your dream girl, close your eyes for a second and allow her image to form in your mind. If you ever meet your dream girl in real life, would you know what to do?

Since I was a teen, I had an image in my mind of the perfect girl. She was about five feet seven, long silky black hair, big smoky green eyes and pouty lips. Even better than her face was her body a full figure and voluptuous behind, melon sized breast and legs that seemed to reach the ceiling.

I was so fascinated by my idea of this dream girl I saw her everywhere I went and could even imagine how she would smell and feel in my arms. I knew exactly how she would act; she would be kind and smart and would have no trouble with me being the authority in the relationship.

Well I got a little older guys and my vision of my dream girl got stored away in the back of my mind, until one day the real vision actually walked into my life. She was even more beautiful than how I had imagined her in my fantasies. I looked at her as she entered the coffee shop where my friends and I were sitting and having a drink. For just a second I started to panic wondering what to do, how to catch her attention, and then I remembered what I had learned in flirting tips for men.

I immediately pulled myself together and reminded myself I was a confident man and I deserved to have this chance with my dream girl. As she walked by, I made sure to catch and hold her eye contact, I made sure to let my eyes show how hot I thought she was. Even going so far to bite my lip in appreciation, she smiled and hesitated for just a second, before she walked towards the counter.

Their was a long line at that time of the day so I went ahead and got into line behind her, knowing flirting tips for men encouraged me to take advantage of an opportunity once it presents itself. When she turned around again and looked at me I smiled and didn't hesitate, I asked her had she been here before.

We struck up a casual conversation as the line slowly moved forward. I made sure to keep looking into her eyes and ignored come on stares from other girls who passed us by. I got her to loosen up by sharing a little more information about me and pulling out a joke or two. I made sure to have her thinking about sex and me in the same sentence by licking over my lip every now and again, putting my thumbs into my belt buckles on my pants even reaching up with a gentle hand to brush away a stray hair off her check.

I could see her eyes turning liquid brown with arousal, and knew flirting tips for men was working to develop our mutual attraction too each other. When we got to the front of the line, I was courteous and paid for her coffee before escorting her over to a quiet table at the back of the coffee shop where we could talk in a more intimate setting.

I paid attention to her flirting techniques to see how into me she was, when she pointed her cleavage at me and leaned forward a little so I could get a better view I knew she was just as turned on as I was. From her signals, I knew I didn't need to waste a lot of time courting her, so I asked for her phone number.

When I called her, I made sure to wait until enough time had passed after meeting at the coffee shop that she would be extra eager for my attention. When we talked on the phone, I kept the conversation interesting; I didn't call at the same time or talk about the same boring subjects. I showed interest in her activities and offered support and encouragement, always making sure to end the phone conversation before too much time had passed to make her anxiously await my next call.

After a short amount of time, I bought up the topic of sex and she was just as eager as I was. In only a few weeks time we were having the best sex of my life and she told me she loved me. By preparing ahead and learning flirting tips for men, I made my dream lover into my reality.

Her sleep was restless, the kind of sleep punctuated with small periods of consciousness and rare moments of true deep slumber. The spaces in between filled with random thoughts and small snippets of nonsensical dreams. She rolled over and fluffed her pillow as she heard the front door close, her husband and children finally gone for the day.

Her breath seemed to come more evenly as she luxuriated in the knowledge that she was alone, free to sleep or wake at her leisure. The bed seemed warmer, her pillow softer, the house a haven, and her bed a sanctuary, and for the moment her time was her own.

She slept soundly for a while as the dream began to weave its magic, slowly, gently gaining purpose. Moving in the shadows of consciousness it deftly came into full focus. As it spoke to her in soft whispers, she responded completely both body and mind. "Come with me" it beckoned, "Let me" it pleaded, demanded and then with a low pitched growl of satisfaction it took her as she willingly set her feet to follow the path laid out before her.

It was he who came to her in the dream, this man who had dominated her waking moments over the past few months. Awakening in her, desires she had thought were long dormant, lately she had found herself stumbling around high on these wondrous new feelings he stirred inside her. He now had found his way inside, invading her sleeping mind with his endless treasure trove of forbidden pleasures.

She moaned softly in her sleep as he began the seduction. Slowly, with maddening deliberateness he laid his lips on her face, following the path of her jaw line, kissing, his tongue teasing, his beard tickling and scraping as he made his way to her ear. His breath warm on her neck sent shivers of pleasure coursing though her body, his hands moving lightly with familiar knowledge over her sleep warm skin.

Straying over the more sensitive areas, before moving on, leaving a trail of aching desire, while still somehow giving extreme pleasure. He sucked gently on her earlobe, nuzzling his face into her neck. She shivered with pleasure, it seemed as if each hair on her body began to stand on end.

She rolled in her sleep; legs clenched tightly together, nipples tight and hard, rubbing against the soft cotton of her T-shirt. His kisses centred over one breast, his mouth wetting the material of her shirt so it clung to her erect nipple. He sucked firmly for a brief maddening moment, then pulled ever so gently on her nipple with his lips, stopping at times he let his breath brush over the damp fabric. His eyes watched her intently, measuring each of her reactions. His hands ran over her belly then along the inside of her thighs, touching everywhere, yet avoiding the warm moist nest of her pussy. Brushing at times over the dark hair that covered her she trembled and began to squirm in her sleep.

She slowly became aware of his voice, his questions, his declarations of just what he wanted to and planned to do, adding to her arousal. He knew all her secrets and played on them, her need coiling tightly in her stomach, her skin somehow more sensitive to each caress as she waited longingly for his next touch. His hands moved now to cup her mound gently; one finger curled slightly just a fraction of an inch above her opening.

She blushed, knowing he could feel how wet she was, yet still she pushed her pussy more firmly into his hand, grinding her hips to feel the pressure of his palm on her tight hard button. She heard him chuckle and ask, "You want something?" his voice sounding pleased with her reaction, confident that yes indeed she wanted something and wanted it quite badly. "Tell me" he demanded with a seemly cordial calmness that told her he would wait all day until he heard the words he wanted come forth from her mouth. Showing him with her body would only enflame her situation and garners his resolve. Still she tried, moaning again and moving restlessly against him.

"Like that, do you?" he commented as he slipped one finger quickly inside of her, allowing his thumb to find it's way between her lips and brush briefly against the hard nub that lay hidden between. He then moved his hands back down her legs, stopping to caress behind her knees before making his way back up the insides of the soft flesh of her inner thighs, this time his fingers teasing her making her warm and wet. Sliding two fingers inside her, he moved sending ripples of heat through her body. He slowly eased them in and out mimicking the movements of love as she trembled.

His mouth fastened on her breast and sucked in earnest making her body surge forward with pleasure, stopping only when he could feel her begin to tighten around his fingers, the beginning of an orgasm building. He looked again at her face, his eyes taking in her flushed completion, her breath that came in ragged quick gasps, her hair wild and damp around her face, falling over her shoulders in dark tangles. He lifted one of those random curls and rubbed the hair between his fingers.

Tell me, he said softly, what you want, no longer teasing but earnestly wanting her to choose. He rubbed his chin back and forth over the sensitive skin of one breast as he waited for her response, his beard brushing softly over her still hard nipple.

"I want you," she gasped arching her body against him in encouragement.

He began to trace one finger delicately inside the crease of her thigh, following what would have been her panty line. She wished she could answer him; tell him all the things he did to her that made her crazy with desire. He was so much more comfortable expressing just what he wanted and she longed to be able to arouse him with merely her own words. Her hands ran wildly over his body, tugging at him and pulling him closer. She felt his hardness against her leg and knew she wanted to feel him inside of her. She wiggled down to align their faces and pulled his bottom lip into her mouth. "I want you to take me." She said clearly, her hand reaching down to wrap around his manhood and guide it to the wet heat at her centre. "I want you inside now".

A smile tugged at the edges of her lips as she rubbed the head of his dick up and down along her slit, coating it with her juice until she could wait no longer. She pulled her knees up as she felt him glide inside of her, wrapping her legs tight around him she forced him to hold still, not allowing him to pull back or move as she revelled in the fullness she felt with him buried deep within.

He held his body still for what seemed like eternity before pulling one of her legs and then the other up and over his shoulders. He looked down over her body, knowing that there wasn't anything she would deny him. She was his for the taking, yet it was her obvious pleasure in him that was the ultimate turn on. The knowledge that he could make her cum over and over again in so many different ways made him ache at the thought of it.

She was, in this position open to him and somewhat vulnerable, yet he moved with care as he slowly pushed himself inside her then pulling back, watching for the tell tale signs that she wanted more, wanted it harder and faster, until finally he was thrusting mindlessly into her, his balls slapping against her as he planted himself so deeply into her. "Tell me" he demanded, "Tell me you love it," he said between thrusts, knowing by her movements that she gloried in his every move, but wanting to hear it all the same.

"Yes," she gasped as he slid between her legs, "Yes, I love it, love you" she moaned as her pussy began to tighten around him, clinging to his cock as she began to orgasm. A crescendo of tingling electric shocks centred inside of her, running down the inside of her legs, the souls of her feet and the tips of her breasts. She clung to him as he pumped harder and faster still, making her orgasm roll over and over her body, her teeth biting into her bottom lip as she came, her body lunging forward

"Yes!" roared in her ears as she opened her eyes. Her own voice or his heard for the moment only inside her head?

Her body still trembled as she rolled once again in her empty bed. The dream had seemed so real, her heart still beat erratically, her blood still running fast and hot and she gasped as the material of her sleep shirt brushed against skin that seemed at once fevered and chilled, gooseflesh raising the fine hair on her arms.

How had he done this she wondered, touching her body, a wanton smile crossing her lips that were somehow swollen but had not in reality been kissed. Even in sleep he had made his claim on her body. As her fingers sought relief in the white-hot heat of her flesh she acknowledged with a sigh that while he had claimed her body, it was she that had given him her heart.

Real, what is real? Unreal, what is unreal? For many a time, man often cannot differentiate them. The air is real but no man can ever touch it or feel it. The mists and clouds look so real, yet nothing contains within them. Human life is unreal for it is not a permanent affair, yet man take it for real. Thereby, we see everything with seriousness and cannot get away from money and fame. Money in its paper form, man can feel it, look at it and even enjoy playing with it, but with a big fire, nothing will ever remain.

The world is full of mysterious things. Let us take a real look at it. People often say that Hell is a suffering place and why not we ask Lord "Yama" for his opinion? This is what he said,

"In this suffering place, the Gate is closed yet many come this way. The Heavenly Door is open yet few walk towards it. People walk into this Gate, knowing very well what is in store for them. There is level after level. It depends on which level one lands. People who have no merit are bound to come in. Each level has different souls bearing different faults. People who practise things contrary to the Heavenly Way often regret the things they have done. But during their life time they have forgotten virtuous deeds. Landing on the present spot, they cry for help and suffer as their actions had called for it. Wailing and crying for an opportunity misused, many people have forgotten about these sufferings that they have gone through. I feel that all have the opportunity to turn back before coming face to face with this Gate."

The underworld is real and not a myth to frighten people. Truth cannot be seen and explained. If it can be explained, it is not the Truth. Human often have doubts about these teachings. The sun rises each day and the direction remains the same. It sets at the same corner without fail. No explanation can be seen by man, but it remains a truth. Asking man to explain why, man cannot give, except that there is a fixed course, no other explanation in its true form can be obtained. The truth to human life is that all beings when they are born are in their natural and compassionate way. They know not of evil and its deeds. This is the truth and that is why all new born are full of compassionate love! Outwardly, man may seem good but the truth no one can really see. This is real.

Realizing the real self is the ultimate aim. Everyone has the real self and the false self. The real self is the divine eternal soul and the false self is the body, that will die one day and disappear from the face of earth and forgotten. Realizing it one will know how to differentiate between good or evil, right or wrong, and fantasies or realities. For an example a strong young man who seeks your assistance. He will not work but daily seeks food from you. If you give him the food, indeed it is charitable deed but on the other hand you are encouraging him not to work. Which is right and which is wrong? If we realize this, we will know which one is truly charitable deed. Man often cannot differentiate them, the unreal, they take it for real and the real, they think it is unreal. Therefore realization is important not only to seek the inner self but also to seek the truth of things.

The advice from above is not to be over-serious about what is real and what is not, or what is fantasy and what is reality. Just do our basic duties in the best way and to cultivate every moment that is left. Cultivation need not be sitting down nor be in a meditation stage. In our daily affairs we too can cultivate. Cultivate by first rectifying ourselves, our thoughts and every action.

My Heavenly Teacher, JiGong said, "If the Teacher teaches you the way to touch a stone and turn it into gold, would it be useful? It cannot save your spirit and life! Disciples, why must you receive this 'pointing-out' from the Bright Master? The purpose of this 'pointing-out' is to help you surpass births and put an end to deaths, and to let your life and your spiritual nature be sublime." The purpose of the 'pointing-out' is to awake the inner divine soul so that we can differentiate between fantasies and realities.

"Once you have rooted your desire so firmly in your mind that you think about it all the time, your desire becomes a commitment."- Art Williams

When you make a commitment, you've got to burn all your bridges, so that retreat simply isn't an option. It is important to realize that desire is the one element that keeps you going when thing get rough. It is the one element that separates the losers who give up from the winners who do whatever it takes to reach their dreams. Take sports for example. Every great athlete has an insatiable desire to win. It's something deep down in his or her gut that burns from within. I think Vince Lombardi said it best with his famous quote: "Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is."

Can you remember the last time you had such a huge desire for something that you could barely sleep at night? If not, you better start dreaming!

The most important, stand out, characteristic of successful people is that they just want it more. They want it so bad they can't stand it. Because of this desire, they make it happen. They figure out how to become successful at whatever their dream may be. When their minds tell them they can't, something deep within them tells them that they must.

The best part about having the passion and dream to become successful is that you do not need any excessive education or talent. You can have a great education and a ton of talent, but you won't make it without desire. You can have a great experience, but you still won't make it without desire. DESIRE is the secret, but if desire is the secret to success, then what is the secret to desire? Dreams are the fuel that fire desire. Dreams provide the motivation to get back up when you're knocked down. They solidify the belief in yourself that allows you to say "I can, I will, I must."

Dreams provide the energy, life, and fulfillment you experience every day. If you don't have dreams and actively pursue them, part of you will die inside. There is no question about it. When you look up the success in the dictionary, the most commonly accepted definition states that success is the steady progression toward a worthwhile goal or dream.

Dreams are the key to success. I want you to start to imagine the most that you think is possible for your life. Remember, don't settle for mediocrity! No matter what your current level of thinking might be, you are most likely dreaming too small. Build big dreams! Big dreams that inspire you! If your dream doesn't scare you, it's probably not big enough.

The most important thing to remember is that desire is not genetic. It is not hereditary. Desire is something that must be created and strengthened from within. We all have the same amount of desire when we are born and as we grow the desire fizzles out in most of us. But, there is no such thing as a person with a low level of desire. There are only people who have small, insignificant dreams.

In order to make a radical shift in your level of success you must first make a radical shift to break out of your common thinking that you have been trapped in. Dream about the tremendous opportunities that life makes available to you on a daily basis!

Success lies in the ability to develop dreams, chase them, believe in them and achieve them. You can dream of anything you want. But, start dreaming today! Dream of wealth, dream of love, dream of happiness, dream of personal freedom. It doesn't matter what you dream about, you just have to have a dream. When you find your dreams, nothing will stand in your way of achieving them. You will push yourself further than you ever have before and put yourself in situations you never dreamed you would. You will never know how far you can go until you push yourself too far. Push yourself to the edge and you will quickly realize your dreams have no boundaries.

Sex is an integral part of human relationships. It can be difficult when one partner has decreased libido and desire , and a lack of sex can put a damper on any relationship. While some people make a claim that sex is not important in a relationship, even the Christian bible speaks of sex as something that a man and wife must do to keep their relationship alive.With sex being such an important aspect of our relationships and marriages, it is important to explore the reasons why decreased libido and desire occurs so that a solution to the problem can be found.

Decreased Libido And Desire - Relationship Issues

A marriage is like a rollercoaster (as is any relationship), and there are ups and downs. You may go through a dry patch with your spouse where you do not make love as often as you used to. There may not be any medical cause for this decreased libido and desire but lifestyle or aging. If one spouse is working nights and the other is working days, that lifestyle may not be conducive to making love. This is even more so if you have children. Many married couples find it easy to be physically intimate after the children go to bed. If one spouse is working nights that often makes it impossible to find alone time to make love. In addition, aging is another very common cause of decreased libido and desire . As our bodies age the sex drive often decreases. Some people find taking medication helps them to remain active with their sexuality while others simply go with the natural changes in life.

There are other common and non medical causes for a decreased libido and desire . Having a baby can wreak havoc on a new mother's body image. If your wife does not feel comfortable in her own skin, it may be very difficult for her to make love to you. She feels different as her body has changed through childbirth, and she may be embarrassed or ashamed of her new body.

In addition, having a new baby means lack of sleep and added stress. If a husband and wife are exhausted and stressed out at the end of the day, sex is the last thing on their mind.

Finally, breastfeeding can also decrease libido and desire. A fun part of sex, the breasts, is now off limits. That can turn many men and women off. In addition, breastfeeding makes the walls of the vagina very smooth which can lead to painful sex. Even if the new mother does not suffer from a decreased libido and desire , she will most likely need lubricant to make sex comfortable for her.

Another common cause for decreased libido and desire is relationship blues. If one or both parties in the relationship are not happy, it is a high possibility that the sex drive will be very low or nonexistent. The key to having a healthy sex life is to have a healthy and happy relationship to begin with.

Decreased Libido And Desire - Medical And Drug Issues

Other common causes for decreased libido and desire stem from medical and drug issues. Certain illnesses and the medication that one must take with these illnesses can cause a decrease in sex drive. While this does not bother some people, if it is bothersome you may want to consult your caregiver to see if there is another medication you can take for your problem. Sometimes, however, the choice must be made between being healthy and well and not having a sex drive and having a sex drive but suffering from your illness. A caring partner should want you to make the former choice.

In addition to prescription drugs, illegal drugs—as well as alcohol—can cause a decreased libido and desire . Illegal drugs destroy your body and your function, so it is natural that excessive use of drugs like cocaine and heroin would decrease your sex drive. Some illegal substances have been known to enhance the sexual experience, but it is temporary and certainly not worth the long term risk of a decreased sex drive.

There are many reasons why you may experience a decreased libido and desire . If you are concerned, make an appointment with your caregiver to discuss your options for treatment.

Dreaming. Do you or don’t you? Do you dream about the future or just have a fantasy dream after a couple of late night tacos?

Dreams get us going. Dreams direct our lives, our focus our direction.

Many of us have forgotten how to dream or haven’t taken the time to dream in years. We get so busy that we never relax our mind and let it dream. Dare I say day-dream?

When we were all kids, we would dream for hours. We had all the time in the world to dream. We had no limits. We had no fears. Short of the “boogie man” we had no idea what fear was.

We could lie in the grass, look at the clouds and dream and dream again. Our friends didn’t tell us our dreams were nonsense but instead dreamed BIG dreams at our side!

The what happened ? Parents, sport coaches, teachers and sometimes our older friends started to steal pieces of our dreams. We were told we would never make the big league- the pros because we just weren’t good enough. We were told we could never be that famous actor/actress –it would never happen. We were too fat, too short, we couldn’t sing, we couldn’t dance.

These dream stealers started to poke holes in our dreams. Then we started to doubt ourselves. When things didn’t work out the way we dreamed, we put up a wall between daily life and our dreams. Heck, maybe you even just plain gave up but I guarantee that you started to settle. Settle for this. Settle for that ! I guess that it’s not that bad. I guess I can get by, etc. Words we all know. Words that start to steal our dreams.

Well it’s time for a change!

It’s time to know and believe in our hearts that DREAMING IS NEVER OPTIONAL!

It’s time to dream and then dream again! Dreaming is never optional!

There is a famous philosopher- Mr. Mickey Mouse. Mickey tells us “Believe your dreams can come true. Never stop dreaming, and remember anything, anything can happen!”

It’s time to find some quiet time and just let it all go and start to dream as kid again.

What do you really want ? Forget all about what Mom wanted for you or where you are “stuck” today.

One hour, one day of dreaming is not enough. It will take some time to remember just how to dream. It took years for you to forget how to dream so give yourselves some time to remember how. Regardless, it’s time to start dreaming once again !

“Taking the risk to follow our hearts gives energy to our future and breathes life into our dreams”—Debbie Ford

Once we know our dreams, goals can be established. Goals that will constantly take you a step closer-even if a small step closer towards your dreams. Goals are a plan to help us realize our dreams. Goals plan the actions that must take place.

Dreams and goals are the planning, the thinking , the blueprint of your life. Action is the how ! Action is rolling up your sleeves and going for it!

Accomplishing your dreams require;

* Solid clear goals

* Action

* Pursuit

* Persistence

Persistence is often the key. Persistence, or as my wife calls it with me “stubbornness”. Call it whatever you want but it is the will to keep going, keep pushing over , around, or though obstacles to get what you truly want in life!

Real dreams are what you truly desire deep down. Dreams are worth pursuing. Dreams are worth sacrifice. They are not-I wish! They are not – I want! They are a burning desire to accomplish something or have something.

You dreams will happen if you have the courage to pursue them!!

Protect your dreams and the dreams of your love ones. Protect them because they are one of your most valued possessions. Don’t ever let anyone steal your dreams.

We have established that dreaming is NEVER optional ! So what are your dreams?? It’s now your turn to dream and dream again!!

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.”-Thoreau

“ Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by things you didn’t do than the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” _ Mark Twain

We've all had that one dream girl at some point in life, haven't we? For most guys, this usually turns out to be nothing more than a mirage of what could be, as most guys never win the girl of their dreams. Of course, they always do in movies, but in the real world, it just does not happen that way. That does not mean that it can't happen, it just means that most men are unable to win over the woman that they dream about.

When you really get it, what it takes to make a woman fall in love, then you can raise the odds of YOU being able to win the girl of your dreams and you can become one of those guys that other men are jealous of when they see him out with a beautiful girl.

Here are a few love tips for men that will help YOU win the girl of your dreams:

1. Read her body language right and you will know what she is feeling. When you know how to read a woman's body language and interpret it the right way, you can take a look at a woman and already have a really good understanding of how she feels. This will help you to say the right things at just the right time, which has a very powerful effect on whether or not she falls in love with you.

2. Make her laugh all of the time and she will want to spend more time with YOU. Knowing how to make a woman laugh is the key to being able to spend a lot of time with her. And when you are the guy that she wants to spend all of her time with, then you have a much better chance at making her fall in love with you. Most guys try to impress a woman by being ‘cool', but funny will get you a quick place in her heart.

3. When you know how to make her WANT YOU, then she will fall in love. Most men make the mistake of trying to be friends with their fantasy dream girl, but being friends with her is not going to make her fall in love. If you want to really make her head spin and her heart reel when she thinks about you, you have to make her want you. You have to tap into her desire.

Question: I am interested in learning about women and dreaming. Specifically, what differences exist between the way men dream and the way women dream.

Collections of fantasy dreams of men and women seem to show there is a difference. As to whether this is nature or nurture, hormones or the way we raise children of different sexes differently is still an open question.

Some studies indicate that gender differences begin to show up pretty early, between 3 and 5 years old (Van de Castle, 1994). When dreams are collected by having children stay at a sleep research lab, these differences seem to disappear in the children (Foulkes,1982).

Girls' dreams have more people they know in them and more concern with personal appearance. The interactions are more friendly have more references to food and have more female characters in them. Girls are more likely to report longer dreams and recount them with more feeling, using colors to express feelings.

The adult studies seem to follow a similar pattern, with emphasis on indoor settings, family and home. Women more often dream of enclosed bodies of water, such as pools, lakes, ponds.

Men tend to have more men in their dreams and be in conflict or competition with them. Outdoor and unfamiliar settings are prevalent. Weapons, tools, cars and roads are common. Men report more sexual dreams, usually with unknown and attractive partners.

Up to about 12 years old, aggression in dreams is about equal. Afterward, aggression decreases for females and continues on with males. One study (Hall, 1963) calculates about one out of four characters the dreaming male encounters involves aggression. This drops off a bit after men are in their thirties, but woman, by comparison have only one in twenty five encounters that have aggressiveness. Also, the aggressive encounters men have involve physical threats, and with women, they are more likely to be verbal assaults.

Calvin Hall and Bill Domhoff investigated if these differences were cross-cultural or just specific to the United States. They compared dreams from such diverse cultures as Nigeria and Scotland, from Australian aborigines and Native American Hopi, and many other groups. It seems that it is the same story around the world.

However, many factors can alter these statistics. For example, a woman who is raised in a family where there is a dominant older brother will have many more dreams of men than a woman without this influence.

Woman who work outside the home report more vocational dreams and less family oriented dreams, and interestingly enough, less threatening dreams. Van De Castle speculates that women in dual-roles have high degrees of self confidence.

Studies that look at sexual identification rather than real gender find that the gender differences begin to break down. Those who live and value traditional masculine qualities will have dreams that match male dream content whether they are male or female. For example, studies of transsexuals (Krippner, 1974) who have crossed from male to female sexual identification tend to have dream content similar to women.

As you might expect, there are gender related factors that influence dreams. Women's dreams during the menstrual cycle are more violent and filled with images of blood and wounds (Van De Castle 1968). Women during pregnancy have dream that reflect the anxieties surrounding child bearing, from concern about the baby, to issues of self image (Stukane, 1985).

Men and women dream differently, but age, vocation, family structure, sex role orientation and other factors seem as important as anatomy in many cases.

A simple explanation is to say that we simply dream about those things we have concerns about in waking life. To the degree that these concerns are gender specific, then so will our dreams be gender specific.

But this isn't quite so. We don't often dream about work, for example, compared to the number of hours we actually spend on these tasks. There seems to be room for a great deal more study before any conclusions can be made.

Her sleep was restless, the kind of sleep punctuated with small periods of consciousness and rare moments of true deep slumber. The spaces in between filled with random thoughts and small snippets of nonsensical fantasy dreams. She rolled over and fluffed her pillow as she heard the front door close, her husband and children finally gone for the day.

Her breath seemed to come more evenly as she luxuriated in the knowledge that she was alone, free to sleep or wake at her leisure. The bed seemed warmer, her pillow softer, the house a haven, and her bed a sanctuary, and for the moment her time was her own.

She slept soundly for a while as the dream began to weave its magic, slowly, gently gaining purpose. Moving in the shadows of consciousness it deftly came into full focus. As it spoke to her in soft whispers, she responded completely both body and mind. "Come with me" it beckoned, "Let me" it pleaded, demanded and then with a low pitched growl of satisfaction it took her as she willingly set her feet to follow the path laid out before her.

It was he who came to her in the dream, this man who had dominated her waking moments over the past few months. Awakening in her, desires she had thought were long dormant, lately she had found herself stumbling around high on these wondrous new feelings he stirred inside her. He now had found his way inside, invading her sleeping mind with his endless treasure trove of forbidden pleasures.
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She moaned softly in her sleep as he began the seduction. Slowly, with maddening deliberateness he laid his lips on her face, following the path of her jaw line, kissing, his tongue teasing, his beard tickling and scraping as he made his way to her ear. His breath warm on her neck sent shivers of pleasure coursing though her body, his hands moving lightly with familiar knowledge over her sleep warm skin.

Straying over the more sensitive areas, before moving on, leaving a trail of aching desire, while still somehow giving extreme pleasure. He sucked gently on her earlobe, nuzzling his face into her neck. She shivered with pleasure, it seemed as if each hair on her body began to stand on end.

She rolled in her sleep; legs clenched tightly together, nipples tight and hard, rubbing against the soft cotton of her T-shirt. His kisses centred over one breast, his mouth wetting the material of her shirt so it clung to her erect nipple. He sucked firmly for a brief maddening moment, then pulled ever so gently on her nipple with his lips, stopping at times he let his breath brush over the damp fabric. His eyes watched her intently, measuring each of her reactions. His hands ran over her belly then along the inside of her thighs, touching everywhere, yet avoiding the warm moist nest of her pussy. Brushing at times over the dark hair that covered her she trembled and began to squirm in her sleep.

She slowly became aware of his voice, his questions, his declarations of just what he wanted to and planned to do, adding to her arousal. He knew all her secrets and played on them, her need coiling tightly in her stomach, her skin somehow more sensitive to each caress as she waited longingly for his next touch. His hands moved now to cup her mound gently; one finger curled slightly just a fraction of an inch above her opening.

She blushed, knowing he could feel how wet she was, yet still she pushed her pussy more firmly into his hand, grinding her hips to feel the pressure of his palm on her tight hard button. She heard him chuckle and ask, "You want something?" his voice sounding pleased with her reaction, confident that yes indeed she wanted something and wanted it quite badly. "Tell me" he demanded with a seemly cordial calmness that told her he would wait all day until he heard the words he wanted come forth from her mouth. Showing him with her body would only enflame her situation and garners his resolve. Still she tried, moaning again and moving restlessly against him.

"Like that, do you?" he commented as he slipped one finger quickly inside of her, allowing his thumb to find it's way between her lips and brush briefly against the hard nub that lay hidden between. He then moved his hands back down her legs, stopping to caress behind her knees before making his way back up the insides of the soft flesh of her inner thighs, this time his fingers teasing her making her warm and wet. Sliding two fingers inside her, he moved sending ripples of heat through her body. He slowly eased them in and out mimicking the movements of love as she trembled.

His mouth fastened on her breast and sucked in earnest making her body surge forward with pleasure, stopping only when he could feel her begin to tighten around his fingers, the beginning of an orgasm building. He looked again at her face, his eyes taking in her flushed completion, her breath that came in ragged quick gasps, her hair wild and damp around her face, falling over her shoulders in dark tangles. He lifted one of those random curls and rubbed the hair between his fingers.

Tell me, he said softly, what you want, no longer teasing but earnestly wanting her to choose. He rubbed his chin back and forth over the sensitive skin of one breast as he waited for her response, his beard brushing softly over her still hard nipple.

"I want you," she gasped arching her body against him in encouragement.

He began to trace one finger delicately inside the crease of her thigh, following what would have been her panty line. She wished she could answer him; tell him all the things he did to her that made her crazy with desire. He was so much more comfortable expressing just what he wanted and she longed to be able to arouse him with merely her own words. Her hands ran wildly over his body, tugging at him and pulling him closer. She felt his hardness against her leg and knew she wanted to feel him inside of her. She wiggled down to align their faces and pulled his bottom lip into her mouth. "I want you to take me." She said clearly, her hand reaching down to wrap around his manhood and guide it to the wet heat at her centre. "I want you inside now".

A smile tugged at the edges of her lips as she rubbed the head of his dick up and down along her slit, coating it with her juice until she could wait no longer. She pulled her knees up as she felt him glide inside of her, wrapping her legs tight around him she forced him to hold still, not allowing him to pull back or move as she revelled in the fullness she felt with him buried deep within.

He held his body still for what seemed like eternity before pulling one of her legs and then the other up and over his shoulders. He looked down over her body, knowing that there wasn't anything she would deny him. She was his for the taking, yet it was her obvious pleasure in him that was the ultimate turn on. The knowledge that he could make her cum over and over again in so many different ways made him ache at the thought of it.

She was, in this position open to him and somewhat vulnerable, yet he moved with care as he slowly pushed himself inside her then pulling back, watching for the tell tale signs that she wanted more, wanted it harder and faster, until finally he was thrusting mindlessly into her, his balls slapping against her as he planted himself so deeply into her. "Tell me" he demanded, "Tell me you love it," he said between thrusts, knowing by her movements that she gloried in his every move, but wanting to hear it all the same.

"Yes," she gasped as he slid between her legs, "Yes, I love it, love you" she moaned as her pussy began to tighten around him, clinging to his cock as she began to orgasm. A crescendo of tingling electric shocks centred inside of her, running down the inside of her legs, the souls of her feet and the tips of her breasts. She clung to him as he pumped harder and faster still, making her orgasm roll over and over her body, her teeth biting into her bottom lip as she came, her body lunging forward

"Yes!" roared in her ears as she opened her eyes. Her own voice or his heard for the moment only inside her head?

Her body still trembled as she rolled once again in her empty bed. The dream had seemed so real, her heart still beat erratically, her blood still running fast and hot and she gasped as the material of her sleep shirt brushed against skin that seemed at once fevered and chilled, gooseflesh raising the fine hair on her arms.

How had he done this she wondered, touching her body, a wanton smile crossing her lips that were somehow swollen but had not in reality been kissed. Even in sleep he had made his claim on her body. As her fingers sought relief in the white-hot heat of her flesh she acknowledged with a sigh that while he had claimed her body, it was she that had given him her heart.
Readers' Commen

I've just woken from a deep and troubled sleep. A nightmare really. The lottery didn't exist and all those billions, from which retailers make a margin, weren't there. And we all had to build traffic from the current national craze, the ABC Circulation Fantasy League.

It's a strange game because it involved 10 national teams, each with a manager (known as a circulation manager or CM) and they had to run a race each day to deliver words and pictures to 50,000 destinations or `goals'.

All the team players who did the racing about were qualified members of Accelerated National Moving Words. They were paid wages and a performance bonus with hundreds of millions of pounds changing hands each year.

What I couldn't work out was why all the members of ANMW were playing for all the teams at the same time. We were told it was a competition, but who was competing with whom?

Then the penny dropped. They were all playing to lose, of course. Each team was scoring less and less each season and the real end game was for each CM to survive the job on his share of less and less. They had also worked out that, having more and more destinations, kept up their work rate and kept up the wages they could claim from more and more goals.

The guys from ANMW had worked this out and had succeeded in playing for everybody making sure that they had secured a bigger share of less and less and avoid relegation.

But I was still in the mists of confusion when I spoke to some of the 50,000 goalkeepers chained up at the destinations.

They said the ANMW team players were coming round each week and demanding more and more payments. Something garbled about the losses they were making from the shrinking figures and something called a carriage needed feeding.

Last week alone, the ANMW players demanded extras averaging 1.2%. I asked about customers, but nobody seemed to know what they were.

Then I woke up in a muck sweat, shaking with fear. Thank goodness we don't have to deal with something like that every day.

There is nothing weak of foolish about fantasy. Fantasy dreams has a function and is a creative way of thinking. Fantasy uses symbols and imaginary scenarios to solve problems in ways that are different than logic. People who are able to fantasise are often more creative and inventive that a person who does everything by the book. Indeed everything we have today had first to be conceived in the imagination of someone before it could become a reality. On an emotional level fantasy can act as a safety valve that enables the person to release pent-up feelings which cannot normally be expressed in everyday life.

If we can take conscious control of our fantasies or at the least become more aware of them then I believe that we can live more fulfilled and creative lives. We use fantasy all of the time but in most instances are unaware that we are doing it. We carry in our minds many pictures of how the world is and how we wish the world could be.

CAN WE MAKE SENSE OF THE STRANGE AND SOMETIMES ABSURD WORLD OF DREAMS?

Fantasy Dreaming' by the medium Craig Hamilton-Parker reveals the meaning or our dream fantasies and sexual fantasies and shows how they influence our waking life. The book explains why we have fantasies and offers easy ways to emotional health. It exposes our hidden fantasies and shows how advertising uses fantasy to secretly motivate us. Discover also how fantasy influences relationships and how family and work colleagues perceive you. Fantasy Dreaming draws on proven techniques to empower you to make fantasy a positive part of your life.

FANTASY, SEX AND EROTIC DREAMS

There is nothing weak of foolish about fantasy. Fantasy has a function and is a creative way of thinking. Fantasy uses symbols and imaginary scenarios to solve problems in ways that are different than logic. People who are able to fantasise are often more creative and inventive that a person who does everything by the book. Indeed everything we have today had first to be conceived in the imagination of someone before it could become a reality. On an emotional level fantasy can act as a safety valve that enables the person to release pent-up feelings which cannot normally be expressed in everyday life.

If we can take conscious control of our fantasies or at the least become more aware of them then I believe that we can live more fulfilled and creative lives. We use fantasy all of the time but in most instances are unaware that we are doing it. We carry in our minds many pictures of how the world is and how we wish the world could be.